Thursday, December 6, 2012

You Got the Look

I got tagged by Tamara over at One Magic Bean Buyer in the 'you got the look' meme. The idea is to post a section from your WIP that contains the word look. You should take a look at Tamara's blog to check our her excerpt from her book Veil-Walker. Good, quick read.

I've been putting up a lot of excerpts from my NaNo project 'A Dauther's Revenge: A Necessary Evil Tale' and I realize that they have been pretty dark. Well, it's a dark book. Right there in the title. So, for a little change, I thought I'd pull out a passage that I think is kinda sweet. It's fairly early in the story and a rare time that things go well for Tarya...

“Dammit, girl.” He spits on the ground. “I ain’t no orphanage.” He looks over the yard to where Mani is counting supplies as the men transfer them between wagons for delivery tomorrow. “But if I throw you to the wolves I’ll never hear the end of it from the boy. We both know he’s sweet on you but you’re not looking to become a peddler’s wife, are you? You’ve been keeping him at a distance instead of twisting him on your finger, and I appreciate that.”

I didn’t think he noticed Mani’s crush, much less my attempts to let the boy down easy. I shouldn’t be surprised – he knows everything that goes on in his caravan. “No, I’m staying here. You don’t have to worry about me, sir. I’ll take care of myself.” I say it like I believe it.

“Who said I worried. I just don’t want to listen to that heart-broke boy all the way across back to Wan.” He spits again to show he means it. “Let’s talk to Boss. Maybe he’ll let you stay in the barn for a spell. You could teach those stable boys of his a thing or two about tending horses.”

Nathon takes me inside the building to meet the proprietor. He’s simply called ‘Boss’ and he perches himself behind the bar of the common room, looking over the crowd like a farmer surveying his field. The people inside are all his, workers and patrons alike. He’s in command here and everyone knows it. Nathon walks me up to the bar and pulls Boss over with a nod of his head. 

“All settled in Nathon? Looking to take your room?” Boss eyes me sideways as he asks the question, like he’s surprised in Nathon’s choice but is far too astute to actually question it. 

“No, not just yet. I actually be having an offer to make you. A bargain, really.” Nathon nods to me. “This here is Tarya. She’s been serving as cook and caretaker on the road. She’s also mighty handy with the steeds. I wish I could keep her with us but she’s of a mind to stay and see the city a while. I figure if you were to give her a job at least I would have the chance to hire her back when she figures out what low wages you pay your serfs.” 

Boss gives him an appraising look. “You trying to pass your slackers off on me again? I got all the help I need; why’d I want another babe suckling at my teat?”

“Because a pretty lass always brings in more men to the tavern and ones that work hard are as rare as gold. Let me tell you about this girl…”

And I'm going to pass on the 'look' to a few other friendly bloggers I know. Please drop by their sites and let's see what they've been up to:

Shannon Knight
Christina Jean Michaels @ The Muse of My Imagination
Aimee L. Salter @ Seeking the Write Life


  1. Interesting what people pick up...You know what the main thing that stood out to me in this piece was? Your lack of dialogue tags. I love that! You used action to place who was talking, which also helped to pace this excerpt beautifully. You have something great going on here and I'd love to read more!

  2. Couldn't agree with Randi_lee more. You've got something wonderful in the makings here. Congratulations on your award-cheers!

  3. Thanks so much for the kind words. It's always nice to know that someone enjoys reading what you wrote. I'm going to leave the full rough draft up on Smashwords for a few more weeks but I'll probably take it down when I start my revisions - I like the book but it needs lots of work.

  4. Your writing is awesome! I couldn't mean that more. As writers, we see all forms and at different stages, and I can honestly say that I love your style and voice. Thanks for tagging me! I'm planning to get the post up either tonight or tomorrow.